Today at work, a patron looked at me and said “Oh look at you, all ready for Halloween.” Being trans, it takes no time at all to figure out exactly why they’d say that. I was wearing lipstick, so in their mind, it makes sense, right? “Why would a boy wear lipstick? There must be SOME reason, and it CAN’T be that he wants to.” Of course, I’m a girl, so that doesn’t apply. Which makes it rude for at least two reasons.

I know some people would tell me, “Oh well how could he know you were trans?” or something to that effect. I don’t ever give that idea much thought, because in my head it makes no difference. It’s still a gross thing to say even if I WAS a boy wearing lipstick. Obviously I’m the one who put it there, who left it there. That wasn’t an accident! Making fun of femininity is so normalized though, especially when people who are perceived as male try to express it.

So I ran to the bathroom and wiped my lipstick off. “Well if you want to be a girl then you have to dress like a girl!” Yeah, there are a lot of problems with that concept. Just let queer people exist, that’s literally how low the bar is at this point, and I’m still disappointed.

Later in the day, I got gendered incorrectly by a coworker who doesn’t usually mess up. And another patron stared directly at me for a prolonged period of time, with absolutely no attempt to be subtle. I tried telling myself I was just being paranoid because of what had happened earlier, but it didn’t work. There was no question that they were staring at me, and they weren’t staring to show approval.

Happy National Coming Out Day everybody. Now when is National -Going IN the closet- Day?